Our personal and professional life can never be entirely separated. Just like we can meet our soulmate (or at least someone incredibly attractive to us) in a bar, we can meet them while leading a job interview. Or while sitting at the other side of the table, trying to get the job of our dreams. Such things do happen in life. And when something in our heart tells us that we should not let this person go just like that, we should probably listen to its calling. Or should we not?
What’s more important in that moment? Getting a job, or finding the love of our life, or, at least, giving a chance to love? I think the answer is obvious to everyone. But it’s always easier to write about such matters, than really being in that situation, and making the right decision. In this article we will try analyze the matter from different perspectives, and find a way out of the situation.
Interview etiquette is clear
The unwritten rules of interview for the job, the so called “etiquette” do not support any romances. Not even thoughts of them. The rules say that you should keep some distance, stay professional. Neither hiring mangers nor job candidates should flirt, or propose anything outside of the scope of a working relationship.
At the end of the day, when you are interviewing people, you are at work. Most likely for your employer, or, if you run your own recruitment consultancy, in your own business. That’s what you should keep on your mind–or at least they say so, and you should not let the emotions to impact your decisions.
Of course you want to let him or her progress to the next round of interviews. Or ideally give them the job straight away, just to have a chance to see them regularly, to have them around at work. But it’s probably not the right thing to do. Surely it isn’t.
Calling of your heart is stronger than your reasoning
If you’ve ever been in love–and who wasn’t, you know well enough that some things we just cannot help. You know it would be right to do something, and yet you do the exact opposite. What is love? Is it really just a chemical reaction in the brain? An instinct we have in order to propagate our specie?
Or, is there something more, something deep, something that can lead us to the eventual paradise on Earth? Young people will probably have a different answer to this one than couples who’ve been married for twenty years. But in the moment it happens, when love conquers us, pierces us through, engulfs our entire being, we do not think about such questions. We simply want to be with the other person. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a job candidate, or a hiring manager, someone we should treat as our business acquaintance.
Make a thick line between interview and the rest of your lives
There is a way out of this peculiar situation, when we feel attracted to the other person in a job interview. And that’s treating them as a job candidate (hiring manager) while in the interview, and as a potential lover/boyfriend/girlfriend once the interviews ends.
I know they say strike the iron while it’s hot. But if there was something more than a mere physical attraction, the invitation for a date can wait until the interview process ends. Will he or she wait for you? And what will they say if you refuse their job application, but invite them for a dinner?
Well, it’s hard to say. Depends on whether the attraction was mutual, weather they also considered having something with you. If they did, they would not mind being rejected for a job but accepted for a promise of something even more interesting…
Send them a message, but not from your corporate email
The truth is that as an interviewer, you should make the first step. Because they likely have only your corporate address, and corporate phone number. It would look to suspicious if they invited you out, regardless of who’s the man and who’s the woman in this scenario. And it could also cause you problems, if your calls or emails are monitored, which can be the case in a corporate sphere.
But you have their personal email, one from their job application, and also their personal number. Contact them from your private number, or send them a text message (that’s very popular to do nowadays). Ask them to go out with you. For a drink, dinner, or just for a walk in the park.
To maintain that line between your work and private life, you can also ensure them that the date you propose will have no effect on their job application. They won’t get in if they accept your proposal, and you won’t reject them if they refuse. It’s just a different matter–love in the making, a distant possibility. It has nothing to do with your professional relationship.
We should never sacrifice our personal life for work
At the end of the day, there will always be another interview, another job you can apply for, another corporation hungry to employ you and squeeze you dry with 60+ hours working weeks. It’s great to have a good job, to progress in our professional career. These things should never be primary for us, however.
Nothing can replace love. And while you can never be sure in the first meeting, and even the love at first sight has to pass the test of time, first conflicts and struggles, you should give it a chance. You should not let the opportunity pass you by just because you want to remain unbiased and professional in the hiring process. Because with love it’s not the same it is with job opportunities…
As I showed you in the article, it’s possible making a distinction between the two. You just have to make it clear from the start, make the first move, and let the destiny decide the rest…
May also interest you:
- Illegal interview questions – Some questions you should avoid asking in an interview, unless you want to risk legal action against you, or at least a serious harm to your reputation.
- Funny interview questions – Ready to throw in a funny question? Not to make the interview a joke, but to catch the job seeker off-guard, asking them a question they have not heard before, and could not prepare for.
- How to tell if the interview went well? – 7 signs that are a clear indication that you will progress to the next rounds of interviews, or get the job straight away.